Some people think you need to develop thicker skin to deal with mean people. I think it makes more sense to develop a stronger heart.
In my family, I’m known as the Iron Marshmallow. I’m not overly sensitive and outside humour and laughter, I’m good at not having strong emotional reactions. I can come across a bit cold but deep down, I’m a softy.
Developing a strong heart, thick skin and the confidence that comes with those can be difficult.
Many of us are made nervous by confrontation; whether or not the other person involved becomes unkosher. This timid behavior can make it very difficult to get through our days. It’ll interfere with our sleep, make us shy about new opportunities and cause a general day to day emotional pain.
How does a person avoid the lingering ache of criticism without hardening our hearts? How can we stay open to awesome friendships and risk-worthy experiences if we feel emotionally burned?
The learning curve may be steep but the moment you reach the top, you’ll feel all that weight from all of the negative self-consciousness lift right off your chest. Its a wonderful feeling!
Here are five tips to becoming an Iron Marshmallow:
I’m a firm believer in forgiveness and I hope my friends are too because I need it quite often.
As a Christ follower, forgiveness is a requirement for me but for everyone, its very beneficial to our health. We shouldn’t cling to something someone else did that is causing pain in our lives. Forgive what was done; let go of the hurt.
It should be noted, I’m not a believer in allowing yourself to be repeatedly hurt by the same weed. Forgive them and then forget them. Our health should always be one of our top priorities.
2. DON’T PERSONALIZE IT
It seems so obvious but it needs to be said; another person’s opinion is rooted in their own personal context. Their opinion maybe very vocal or harsh and seem directed at us but its very possible that this reaction really has nothing to do with us at all.
3. HAVE A TRUSTED GO-TO PERSON
I have three people that I trust and I know I can confide my “harsh moments” to them. They will give me their honest, from a loving perspective opinion of what happened. It keeps things in perspective and reaffirms that I’m not alone.
4. BE OPEN TO BEING WRONG
Its okay to be wrong. Its okay to have made mistakes. Tip 1 is applicable to us, too.
5. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
If the confrontation turns bad, always resist sinking to their level. First and foremost, it will invalidate our argument no matter how legitimate we think our argument is. Second, we’re going to feel guilty.
With the utmost confidence, I can say these five tips take much practice; I say that from experience…
The goal of an Iron Marshmallow: Its good to have a big heart, we just shouldn’t wear it on our sleeves.
❥ Photo source: jesskaphotography.net