Its been about an hour since the Husband and I put the toddler down for bedtime. She screamed and screamed and pretended to gag and screamed. She didn’t throw or hit or say anything; just screamed. Very much a “tantrum cry” and a very intense one at that.
For what seems like my entire life, I have heard the joke about adult children apologizing to their parents after they have children themselves. I have come to the conclusion that this actually isn’t that much of a joke…
Mom. Dad. I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING CHALLENGING.
While this tantrum cry was running its course, I was writing. Writing is cathartic for me, most of the time. The times that it is not cathartic is when I am too greatly distracted; for example, when a toddler in the neighboring bedroom pretends that she is gagging on something. I spring from my workstation and haul skirt into her room only to realize it was to get my attention and was not a red flag moment. Relief and then an exasperated eye roll.
This was about the time I did the mental apology to my parents. And also had the realization that during my youthful tantrums as well as the ones of my siblings, my parents were so mellow and sane. How?
I was visiting my dad recently. Both my toddler and my toddler nephew were there and both had their tantrums and at different times. On top of the “spunky” toddler behavior, it was a chaotic and, at times, stressful weekend. My dad, the entire time, stayed very calm. Curious me asked him why and he simply said “I choose not to get pi***d off.”
I image that choosing not to get pi***d off is a talent refined through trial and error.
I was flustered that my coveted “me time” had been spoiled but I had to choose not to be flustered. Why waste the emotional energy?
I suppose that I passed this trial and I do not eagerly await for the next but I safely assume it won’t be long before I take on a new trial.
Presently, my toddler is asleep. I had placed my head on her pillow, she put her hand on my head and held her face as close to mine as possible and almost immediately fell asleep. I don’t just love this little girl, I really like her. I like her even when it is bedtime and she is an angry toddler.
All part of living the Lo life.